Beth Terry of  Fake Plastic Fish got herself a Crock-pot. On Craig’s List.  For ten bucks.

She also got herself a load of criticism.

When she called for comments and recipes, I’m pretty sure she was prepared for a bunch of chili recipes.  Anger and superior tones, maybe not so much.

People seem to feel really strongly, shall we say, that using a slow cooker wastes more energy than making the same meal in the oven or on top of the stove.  However, according to The California Energy Commission, using a slow cooker for 7 hours uses about $.06 in electricity, based on a cost of $.08/kwh.

Using an electric oven for 1 hour at 350 degrees uses about $.16 in electricity.

OK so that dime isn’t going to save the world, but still, why do crock pots make people so angry?

Yes, they can be ugly, and, yes, they take up a lot of room on the counter, and, yes, I too have been given the heebie-jeebies at potluck parties by Crock-Pot meatballs drowning in grease.

But, if you can look past the bow-tied geese and be careful about what you choose to cook, marvelous things await. There is simply nothing better than cracking open the door at the end of a long day and being greeted by the delicious aroma of the dinner that has been simmering away unattended. For a moment, I am lost in a fantasy – I am Carol Brady and Alice has been slaving away in the kitchen while I’ve been helping Marcia get ready for cheer leading tryouts at Fillmore Junior High.

Here’s another consideration that far outweighs that slim dime of energy savings:  At the end of a busy day, when everyone (especially me) is tired and cranky I know that if I hadn’t taken 10 minutes in the morning to load the slow cooker, I’d be phoning in an order for take-out.

And take-out means excess calories, excess packaging and excess miles driven.

Not to mention that the $40 we’d spend at Taste of India could fill my slow cooker with a delicious, nutritious family meal at least 6 times.

So to all you haters out there, embrace your inner Alice, make some  Slow Cooked Chicken or some Tortellini Soup and be happy.

What would happen if the chain between farm and table were as transparent as the gas filled plastic tub that encloses the hamburger I got yesterday at the grocery?

I’d have to look at some fairly unpleasant facts..and first and foremost is that the true cost of that pound of protein is a lot more than the price on the tag.

Consider the following, random and relevant:

• Cows burp up more greenhouse gas than our cars.  And the 130 gallons of methane they produce as they chew their cuds traps 20 times as much heat in the atmosphere as CO2.
• Livestock production produces 18% of all greenhouse gases, more than all forms of transportation combined.  So if we cut down on the number of meat based dishes we eat each week, there will be less demand for cows, and we can help reduce greenhouse gases.
• Cows are ridiculously inefficient protein factories.  It takes 10 calories of energy to produce 1 calorie of beef.  All that energy is expended growing, fertilizing and transporting the grain that comprises the diet of factory farm raised beef.
• Switching to a diet that is mainly fruits and vegetables would be good for the planet, the pocketbook and the pants size.

But beef tastes good.

I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been at a ski mountain with a huge LL Bean bag filled with sandwiches and chips and fruit, and have decided to chuck it all in favor of $14 burgers–lured into the restaurant by the irresistible aroma of a half pound of juicy deliciousness being pressed into a sizzling grill.

So what’s the answer?

I am going to try to adopt a year of moderate changes, and drag the (cave)men I live with along.

For the past couple of years we’ve been having a meat free dinner one night a week, which we call Meatless Tuesday.  (The name came from a ditty sung by an overall-wearing flea in a Looney Tunes cartoon as he scampers around the obscenely large hair follicles of some animated hound dog).  Did I mention I live with men and only men?  And that those men can name any Looney Tunes cartoon in 3 notes?  But I digress.

So far I’ve been using cheese as a substitute for meat — and everyone is happily distracted by Putanesca sauce, swiss chard panini, veggie calzones and grilled red pepper sandwiches.  All of which are loaded to the brim with cheese.  Tasty, and really helpful in getting all those veggies safely down their gullets without complaint.

But if the goal is to reduce the amount of greenhouse gasses by reducing livestock demand, how can increasing our dairy consumption be any better?

This weekend I am planning an experiment: vegetarian chili without the usual accouterments.  I’m hoping  some crushed tortilla chips as a garnish might distract everyone from the lack of cheese and sour cream.

And I’m thinking I better try this Saturday.  No way in hell the people I live with could possibly watch the Superbowl without a spicy, saucy bowl of chicken wings.  Balance?  Baby steps?

I would love, love, love to hear ideas for meals that are

• completely animal product free
• happily eaten by children
• economical

ok, ok…how about two out of three?

I’ve got a green hangover this morning.

Last night we hosted the Concord High Alpine team for a pre-race pasta dinner. 20 athletes plus assorted parents, coaches and siblings.

I tried to be really green: no disposable plates or cutlery or cups or napkins.

Oh, and also no water in the kitchen. The pipes to the sink and dishwasher are frozen — so now all this has to be carried into the mud room and hand washed in the utility sink.  Just thinking about it makes my already chapped hands hurt.  We’ll see how those Skoy cloths hold up to all this.

Despite the extra work, it was really pretty easy to green the team dinner right up. I have about 40 plastic dinner plates that I have bought on sale over the years for outdoor barbecues. I’ve already mentioned my giant collection of metal forks from the Salvation Army Store, and unlike a recent meat loaf disaster, the pasta didn’t require a hacksaw knife to get it into bite sized pieces.  Last year I picked up about 20 packages of cloth napkins at the Company C tent sale (four for two bucks!) and I bought soda in cans (and wine in bottles).

I’m also feeling pretty good about all the money I didn’t spend. I am thinking it would have cost at least $20 to buy disposable products for that many people, more for cute stuff.

Still, and I know it’s wrong, but a tiny part of me wishes we had just filled a couple garbage bags with paper plates and paper napkins and plastic forks and plastic cups, and had gone to bed with a spotless kitchen.